I Would Say I'm -

The Ridiculousness And Idiocy Of Life Is Embraced And Examined. It Nurtures The Childhood Perspective In Everyone.

Whenever I'm Out Of Town For At Least A Week, I Feel Like I Should Write A Postcard Or Something, But You Can Be A Genius, You Try And Write A Postcard You Come Across Like A Moron Anyway: 'this City's Got Big Buildings. I Like Food. Bye.'

We All Take Mother's Day Seriously And Then It's Like A Month Later, A Bunch Of Kids Get Together And Say, "i Guess We Should Do This For The Old Man, Too." Father Day's Is Weird. It's Like Celebrating Darth Vader's Birthday. It's Odd I Think. Even The Gifts We Give Dads. Like Neckties, Which Are Just Like A Silk Noose. Or Books. Would You Ever Want Someone From Another Generation To Give You A Book?

I'm There To Make People Laugh. I'm Not Trying To Come Across As Sexy.

Bacon's The Best, Even The Frying Of Bacon Sounds Like An Applause.