I'd Be Hard-pressed To Think

I Don't Really Think Of Myself As An Actor.

I Can't Swim. I Can't Drive, Either. I Was Going To Learn To Drive But Then I Thought, Well, What If I Crash Into A Lake?

I Don't Want To Do Panel Games Or Adverts. I Really Like Challenges. I Always Get Roles As An Art Teacher Or A Photographer. In The Future I Want To Play Something Like A Mugger/assassin/pastry Chef.

I Feel Very Very Old. My Hair Hurts. I Have Buttocks All Over My Body And I Can't Even Smoke Properly Any More. I Don't Have Lungs, I Just Have Two Poppadoms In Here.

You Know What You Are? You're A Beard With An Idiot Hanging Off It.