If God Had Wanted Me

I Was Driving By, Doing A Security Check... And I Smelled Leg Of Lamb." Morelli

Why Do You Give Me Cars?" "it's Fun," Ranger Said."and It Keeps You Safe. Do You Want To Know Why Keeping You Safe Is Important To Me?" "you Love Me?" "yes." A Sigh Inadvertently Escaped. "we're Really Screwed Up, Aren't We?" "in A Very Large Way," Ranger Said.

I Checked My Phone Messages. Three In All. The First Was From Joe. “hey, Cupcake.” That Was It. That Was The Whole Message. The Second Was From Ranger. “yo.” Ranger Made Joe Look Like A Chatterbox.

Grandma Mazur Stood Two Feet Back From My Mother. "i Gotta Get Me A Pair If Those," She Said, Eyeballing My Shorts. "i've Still Got Pretty Good Legs, You Know." She Raised Her Skirt And Looked Down At Her Knees. "what Do You Think? You Think I'd Look Good In Them Biker Things?" Grandma Mazur Had Knees Like Doorknobs.

Maybe It's Just Not The Right Time For Us To Be Married. I Don't Want To Be A Bounty Hunter For The Rest Of My Life, But I Certainly Don't Want To Be A Housewife Right Now. And I Really Don't Want To Be Married To Someone Who Gives Me Ultimatums. And Maybe Joe Needs To Examine What He Wants From A Wife. He Was Raised In A Traditional Italian Household With A Stay-at-home Mother And Domineering Father. If He Wants A Wife Who Will Fit Into That Mold, I'm Not For Him. I Might Be A Stay-at-home Mother Someday, But I'll Always Be Trying To Fly Off The Garage Roof. That's Just Who I Am.