If I Wanted To Be

Everyone Of You Has A Health That Is Unique And Totally Different From Everybody Else. Completely! Because We... Are All Like Snowflakes.

In New York, F*** Isn't Even A Word. It's A Comma.

If You Stop Eating Donutes You Will Live 3 Years Longer.it's Just 3 More Years That You Want A Donut. < . ) < .

If You're Seeing A Psychiatrist, You're Wasting Money Because All You've Got To Do Is Get On A Plane, Get On A Subway Tomorrow And, Inevitably, You're Going To Be Seated In Front Of Some Guy Who's Playing With Himself, And He'll Be Singing, 'happy Days Are Here Again.' I Tell You - When I See That Guy, I Feel Pretty Good About Myself.

I Knew That I'd Lived In New York Too Long When, A Few Years Ago, I Was On A Subway Going Downtown, And It Stopped At 14th Street. At The Station, The Doors Opened, And The Conductor Announced That There Was A Bomb On Board And We Should Evacuate Immediately. Nobody Moved. We Just Looked At Each Other, 'do You See A Bomb?' 'i Don't See A Bomb.' 'there's No Bomb.' 'i've Only Got Two Stops - Let's Go For It.