If It Weren't For Marriage,

For People Who Like Peace And Quiet: A Phoneless Cord.

Hobbies Of Any Kind Are Boring Except To People Who Have The Same Hobby. This Is Also True Of Religion, Although You Will Not Find Me Saying So In Print.

The Books All Say That Barracuda Rarely Eat People, But Very Few Barracuda Can Read.

The Badness Of A Movie Is Directly Proportional To The Number Of Helicopters In It.

I Think I've Learned Over The Years, Because You'd Have To Be Stupid Not To, That When A Book Publisher Gives You A Deadline They're Just Kidding For The Most Part. I Don't Know What They Do With It, It's Like You Send Them Your Book And They Just Hold It In Their Hands For Like Six Months And I Don't Know Why, And You Realize You Probably Had More Time.