If Jesus Had Been Killed

My Mother-in-law Broke Up My Marriage. My Wife Came Home From Work One Day And Found Me In Bed With Her.

My Only Challenge Was To Tell My Truth, Man... Figure Out What I Had To Say. These Days, It's Not Enough To Boost That Roomful Of Strangers. The Young Comic Spends All Their Time Trying To Sound Different From The Million Other Jokesters Grabbing For The Mic.

I Would Become A Priest Or A Rabbi Or A Monk Or Whatever The Hell Was Necessary To Perform Miracles Such As Taking Money From Someone Else's Pocket And Putting It Into Mine, Still Remaining Within The Confines Of The Law.

If Something About The Human Body Disgusts You, The Fault Lies With The Manufacturer.

...catholicism Is Like Howard Johnson, And What They Have Are These Franchises And They Give All These People Different Franchises In The Different Countries But They Have One Government, And When You Buy The Howard Johnson Franchise You Can Apply It To The Geography - Whatever's Cool For That Area - And Then You, You Know, Pay The Bread To The Main Office.