If You Are An Ugly

Anytime A Fan Touches You, You Have The Right To Beat The Hell Out Of Him

What Does Politically Correct Mean? If You're Fat, Don't Ask Me If You're Fat, Because I'm Gonna Tell You The Truth. You're Fat.

I Want To Be A Politician. I Think I Understand How The System Works, I Think A Lot Of Politicians Are Corrupt, And It's About Time We Put Some People In There Who Are Going To Look Out For The Majority Of The People Instead Of The Rich People.

Listening To A Woman Is Almost As Bad As Losing To One. There Are Only Three Things That Women Are Better At Than Men: Cleaning, Cooking, And Having Sex.

I'm Afraid Of The Skeletons In My Closet. I've Got A Whole Cemetery Full Of Them.