If You Are Flammable And

People Teach Their Dogs To Sit; It's A Trick. I've Been Sitting My Whole Life, And A Dog Has Never Looked At Me As Though He Thought I Was Tricky.

I Went To A Heavy Metal Concert. The Singer Yelled Out, "how Many Of You People Feel Like Human Beings Tonight?" And Then He Said, "how Many Of You Feel Like Animals?" The Thing Is, Everyone Cheered After The Animals Part, But I Cheered After The Human Beings Part Because I Did Not Know There Was A Second Part To The Question.

I Never Joined The Army Because At Ease Was Never That Easy To Me. Seemed Rather Uptight Still. I Don't Relax By Parting My Legs Slightly And Putting My Hands Behind My Back. That Does Not Equal Ease. At Ease Was Not Being In The Military. I Am At Ease, Bro, Because I Am Not In The Military.

I Would Not Want To Be A Mobile Home Repo Man. Those Would Be Hard To Sneak Away - "knock Knock - Hi, Would You Go Cut Your Grass And Look That Way For A Half An Hour?"

People Ask Me For My Autograph After A Show. I'm Not Famous, I Think They're Messing With Me. I Think They're Trying To Make Me Late For Something.