If You Attack The Establishment

Any Company Executive Who Overcharges The Government More Than $5 Million Will Be Fined $50 Or Have To Go To Traffic School Three Nights A Week

I Don't Know Whether It's Normal Or Not, But Sex Has Always Been Something That I Take Seriously. I Would Put It Higher Than Tennis On My List Of Constructive Things To Do.

As My Good Friend Al Capp Told Me A Few Years Ago, The Best Thing To Do With A Confirmed [hotel] Reservation Slip When You Have No Room Is To Spread It Out On The Sidewalk In Front Of The Hotel And Go To Sleep On It. You'll Either Embarrass The Hotel Into Giving You A Room Or You'll Be Hauled Off To The Local Jug, Where At Least You'll Have A Roof Over Your Head.

People Are Broad-minded. They'll Accept The Fact That A Person Can Be An Alcoholic, A Dope Fiend, A Wife Beater And Even A Newspaperman, But If A Man Does Not Drive, There Is Something Wrong With Him.

It Was A Dangerous Profession I Had Chosen ... Because No One Likes A Funny Kid. In Fact, Adults Are Scared Silly Of Them And Tend To Warn Children Who Act Out That They Are Going To Wind Up In Prison Or Worse. It Is Only When You Grow Up That They Pay You Vast Sums Of Money To Make Them Laugh.