If You Have A Gun,

There's No Greater Model, In My View, Than Jesus Christ.

We Don't Really Have To Make Fun Of Religion - It Makes Fun Of Itself.

Russia Has Banned All Adoptions To Americans. So, If You Were Hoping To Get A Little White Kid With Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, You're Going To Have To Wait Until Lindsay Lohan Reproduces.

First They Didn't Believe In Evolution. Then They Didn't Believe In Global Warming. Now The Debt Ceiling. What I Call 'the Moron Trifecta.'

What A Day For The Tea Party People. Did You See That? America's Parks And Fairgrounds Were Lost In A Sea Of Man-boobs. They Were Venting Their Anger And Rage Against Taxes, Which, Of Course, In Most Cases For Them Went Down. Protesting Their Taxes Went Down, But You Know, Why Let The Truth Spoil A Perfectly Good Klan Rally.