If You Live Below Your

Most People Don't Realize This, But You Can Eat Organic, All Natural, Gluten-free Food Without Telling Everyone Around You.

Every Comedian Has A Moment In His Life When He Realizes He's A Little Bit Different From Everyone Else. It's Like Being The Only Guy In A Movie Who Sees The Ghost. The Ghost Talks To You And You Talk To Him. Then You Turn To Your Friend And Say, "hey. Do You See That Ghost? And He Says, What Ghost?"

Whenever I Go Out With Other Married Couples, I Like To Bring Along A Single Crackhead. Just To Spice Things Up.

I Think All The Funny People Were Bullied. When They Talk About Outlawing Bullying, It's Like, What? You Want No Comedy Central?

I Literally Don't Know What I'm Going To Do Next. That's Successful.