If You Live In America,

Nothing In Our Culture, Not Even Home Computers, Is More Overrated Than The Epidermal Felicity Of Two Featherless Bipeds In Desperate Congress.

If Sophistication Is A Matter Of Being In Control Of Our Primary Reactions, We May Now Be Sophisticated. At Least We Shall Be Fairly Confident Of Ourselves And May, With Any Luck, Be Confident Of Others. Our Object Will Be To Enjoy Our Selves. But To Make Sure That Our Names Are Permanently On The Cast List, It Will Be Advisable To Be Of Interest To Others. This Aim Must Never Be Confused With The Desire To Be Popular.

Nothing Shortens A Journey So Pleasantly As An Account Of Misfortunes At Which The Hearer Is Permitted To Laugh.

I'm Happy. I Don't Ever Have To Pay Anything, And I Don't Ever Have To Wash The Dishes, And I Don't Ever Have To Behave Nicely.

When I Was Young, I Don't Know How, I Spent All My Time In The Presence Of Married Women Telling Me Their Troubles. And When I Said 'why Did You Marry?' They Said, 'oh I Married To Get Away From Home.' And When I Said, 'and Why Don't You Leave Him?' They Gave The Saddest Answer In The World: They Said, 'where Would I Go?' So They Stayed With Men They Didn't Like Because They Had Nowhere To Go.