If You Read Only One

America Should Treasure Its Rare, True Original Voices And Mark Leyner Is One Of Them. So Treasure Him Already, You Bastards!

If My Mother Hadn't Tried To Sell Me Chicken Kiev Cutlets For $1.40 After I Graduated From College, Maybe I Would've Been The Lawyer She Wanted Me To Be.

I Was A Jackass In Many Ways. I Projected That Cruelty Towards Others, That Kid Whose Hand I Was Wringing. If I Could Have Hurt A Hundred Weaklings - Weaker Than Me, And I Was Already Very Weak - I Would. I Was Dying To Hurt Somebody, To Pay It Forward.

Satire Always Benefits When Evil And Stupidity Collide.

Italy Has Sun And Tomatoes, And Russia Just Has Real Problems.