If You Touch Me, I

This Wasn’t The First Time I’d Been Pulled Out Of Bed For A Crucial Mission. It Was, However, The First Time I’d Been Subjected To Such A Personal Line Of Questioning. “are You A Virgin?

I Want You To Go Back To Tucson And Bring Me The Bottle Of Tequila I Keep In My Liquor Cabinet. And Don't Scare Tim." Volusian Remained Motionless In That Way Of His. "my Mistress Grows Increasingly Creative In Her Ways To Torment Me." "i Thought You'd Appreciate It." "only In So Much As It Inspires Me To Equally Creative Means To Rip You Apart When I Am Able To Break Free Of These Bonds And Finally Destroy You." "you See? There's A Silver Lining To Everything. Now Hurry Up.

Was It Weird Having A Witch Grandma? Scary? Was She Always, Like, Threatening To Cast Spells If You Were Bad?" "most Of The Time She Just Threatened To Send Me To My Room." "that Doesn't Sound So Scary To Me." "that's Because You Haven't Met Her.

What Happened? Did A House Fall On Your Sister?" I Asked. Maybe There Was A Benefit To Our Language Barrier. She Pursed Her Lips. "you Can't Stay Here Much Longer," She Said. My Mouth Dropped Open. "you...you Speak English?" She Snorted. "of Course.

Nah. I’m A Consultant, Of Course. Everyone’s Favorite Nondescript Yet Well-paid White-collar Job.