I'll Be 50 Years Old

Over The Weekend Mitt Romney Went Body Surfing. He Has Not Body Surfed Since The '90s When He Starred On 'baywatch.'

Night Clubs Scare Me. They're Dark And They Stink And They're Dangerous And Everybody's Drunk.

They're Talking About Putting A Woman On The $20 Bill. And Hillary Said, 'i'm Available.'

Illinois Is The Only State Where The Present Governor Rides Around In A Car Whose License Plate Was Made By A Previous Governor.

Newt Gingrich Is Against Same-sex Marriage. Well, Actually, He's Against Same-marriage Sex.