I'm A Huge News Junkie.

The Way To A Man's Heart Is Through His Stomach...just Make Sure You Thrust Upward Through His Ribcage.

I Don't Accept The Status Quo. I Do Accept Visa, Mastercard, Or American Express.

‎you Cannot Correct An Old Person Every Time They Say Something Offensive. You Would Never Make It Through Thanksgiving Dinner!

First, [in High School], I Smoked A Lot Of Pot...and That's How I Got To Know The People 'half In' The Society Of My High School And We Waved At Each Other Over The Bong. Then I Got To Know People By Making Jokes.

Truthiness Is What You Want The Facts To Be As Opposed To What The Facts Are. What Feels Like The Right Answer As Opposed To What Reality Will Support.