I'm A Sort Of Nuts-and-bolts

I Got Drunk In Canada. I Was There For 2 Days But I Was Drunk There For 4 Days. I Don't Know How It Worked. I Guess It Was With The Time Difference Or Something.

Maybe I'm Delusional But I'm Usually Funny. It's Not 100% But I Have A Pretty Good Batting Average.

I Saw A Commercial For The Maxi Pads For The Bigger Gals They're Making Now. That Was A Nice Visual While I Was Eating.

What We Used To Settle With Common Sense Or A Fist, We Settle With Hand Sanitizer And Lawyers.

When You Have Kids, You Instantly Feel That You Do Not Want To Do Them Wrong. Those Dads That Go Off To Florida And Start A New Life, I Couldn’t Imagine That: Seeing My Kid Once Every Christmas, Every Three Years. If I’m Gone For Six Days It Feels Like Too Much.