I'm Always Working On A

Generally I Get Up At Around 7. But Oftentimes, I'll Be Lolling In Bed A Little Bit Earlier - Sometimes As Early As 5:45 - Filing In My Mind All The Things I Have To Get Done. Which Is, Of Course, Totally Unproductive.

I'm Always Working On A Few Different Stories At Once, So There's Always Some Really Big Coffee Table Book I'm Carrying Around.

If I Had A Time Machine I Would Go Back 30 Years And Show Up At My Grandmother's Apartment Before The Gargantuan Meals She Would Serve And I Would Help Her.

While Some Of My Closest Friends Were Jocks, It Seemed That They Spoke A Different Language With Each Other. Joining In Their Conversation Was Fraught With Risk.

Irony Is The Disparity Between What You Expect Will Happen, And What Does Happen. So Raining On Your Wedding Day Isn't Ironic, It's Just Crappy. It Would Have Been Ironic If She Had Lived In A Place Like Seattle, And Traveled To The Desert Of Mexico For A Wedding And It Ended Up Raining There, But Not In Seattle. Alanis Always Gets The Last Laugh Though. We All Sit Here, Saying Her Song Isn't Ironic, But In Fact, That's Pretty Ironic That She Wrote A Song Called Ironic That Wasn't Really Ironic. Those Canadians Are Pretty Crafty.