I'm An American So Its

I'm Greek. My Body Produces Feta Cheese.

I'm Not Versed Enough In Constitutional Law To Run For Office. I'd Have To Go Back To School Or Something.

That's One Of The Great Things About Comedy: We Can - And Should - Say The Things That Other People Aren't Supposed To Say. If We Didn't Do That, If We Didn't Push Against Those Limits, We'd Just Be Standing Around Onstage And Yelling.

I Do Whatever Comes My Way. But I Get Burned Out On Stage. It's A Lonely World. I Think Part Of The Romanticism About Being On The Road Is You Get To Meet A Lot Of - My Mom Once Told Me, "you've Probably Got A Woman At Every Port." Like I'm A Pirate. Obviously She Doesn't Know Her Son That Well.

Hookers Don't Like To Snuggle.