I'm Not Capable Of Having

It Couldn't Pull A Greased Stick Out Of A Pig's Bottom

Planet Earth Thought It Had £10. But It Turns Out We Only Had £2. Which Means Everyone Must Lose 80% Of Their Wealth

...it Seemed Appropriate That I Should Develop Some Kind Of Illness. This Is A Good Idea When You Are At A Loose End Because Everything, Up To And Including Herpes, Is Better Than Being Bored.

Biathletes Need To Eat 6.000 Calories A Day: Six Thousand! That's The Equivalent Of 2 Pounds Of Butter, 70 Slices Of Bread, 112 Eggs, 86 Tabs Of Yogurts, 28 Potatoes, 117 Biscuits And 21 Twix Bars. On That Basis, I Could Be An Olympic Biathlete!

I'm Sorry, But Having An Aston Martin Db9 On The Drive And Not Driving It Is A Bit Like Having Keira Knightley In Your Bed And Sleeping On The Couch.