I'm Not Racist, I've Got

I Would Still Have Old Ladies Come Up To Me After The Show And Pat Me On The Cheek After I Had Said All This Vulgar Stuff. They Would Be Like, 'oh You're A Silly Boy - We Know You're Just Playing.

Dear Semi Hot Girl Taking Photos On A Boat. It's Not Your Boat So Stop Acting Like You Own It. You Drive A Used Civic.

I Just Get Excited Doing Shows. Off Stage I Am Actually Very Feeble And Must Be Spoon-fed Because My Hands Are Too Brittle.

I Say It With My Tongue Firmly Planted In Cheek But There's Truth To It - Being A Comedian Is Very Close To Being A Therapist. When You're Working Smaller Clubs, You're Listening. You're Feeling An Energy, You're Going With A Tone But When People Start Yelling Out, You Almost Start A Conversation With People.

If You Use Tact You Can Say Anything, Then Make It Funny.