I'm Obsessed With Tv. How

As Soon As I Did My First Five Minutes Of Stand-up I Knew That I Would Rather Be A Failure At Comedy Than A Success In Marketing.

My Girlfriend Said She Wanted Me To Tease Her, So I Said "alright, Fatty."

Even If You're Doing The National Insurance Awards, There's Still That Excitement When You Wonder Who Is Going To Win, Er, Best Premiums.

When Someone Close To You Dies, Move Seats.

But What's True About Comedians Is That We've All Got A Huge Hole In Our Personality. In A Room Of 3,000 People, We're The One Person Facing In The Opposite Direction - Yet We Have This Overwhelming Desire To Be Liked.