I'm Off For Two Weeks,

I Cannot Stand People Who Disagree With Me On The Issue Of Roe V. Wade... Which I Believe Is About The Proper Way To Cross A Lake.

Marijuana Is A Gateway Drug That Can Lead To Awful Things, Like Phish Getting Back Together.

I Believed In Global Warming After Al Gore's Movie Made Money; The Market Had Spoken.

I'm Not Going To Name Any Names, But Let's Just Say, I Want To Do Jokes On Donald Trump So Badly, And I Have No Venue. So Right Now, I'm Just Dry Trumping.

Status Is Always Ripe For Satire, Status Is Always Good For Comedy.