I'm Sick Of Following My

People Think I'm Into Sports Because I'm A Man. But I'm Not Into Sports. I Like Gatorade, But That's About As Far As It Goes. By The Way, You Don't Have To Be Sweaty And Play Basketball To Enjoy Gatorade. You Can Just Be A Thirsty Dude. Gatorade Forgets About This Demographic!

If 13 Is Unlucky, Then 12 And 14 Are Guilty By Association.

I Wish They Made Fajita Cologne, Because That Stuff Smells Good. What's That You're Wearing? That's Sizzlin'!

A Friend Said To Me, "i Think The Weather Is Trippy." I Said, "no, Man, It's Not The Weather That's Trippy, Perhaps It's The Way We Perceive It." And Then I Realized I Just Should Have Said, "yeah."

Pepperidge Farm Bread. That's Fancy Bread. You Can Tell It's Fancy Because It's Wrapped Twice. You Open It, And It Still Isn't Open. That's Why I Don't Buy It. I Don't Need Another Step Between Me And Toast.