I'm The Only Person I

I Get In Fewer Arguments When I'm Alone.

I Confess That When I First Read That Smog Is Particularly Hazardous To Children, Senior Citizens, And Physically Active People, For A Brief Moment I Thought, “i’m In The Clear For At Least 10 More Years.”

When I Sat Down To Write I Just Felt Like A Geek Writing About Myself. And Then It Dawned On Me, Just Because Of The Way I Am, I Can't Stop Talking, And Part Of The Problem Is That Anything That Gets Said Reminds Me Of Something That Happened To Me One Time, And Invariably I Cut People Off And Talk About Myself.

What Moron Said That Knowledge Is Power? Knowledge Is Power Only If It Doesn't Depress You So Much That It Leaves You In An Immobile Heap At The End Of Your Bed.

I Was Court-ordered To Alcoholics Anonymous On Television. Pretty Much Blows The Hell Out Of The Second A, Wouldn't You Say?