Imitation Is The Sincerest Form

To Say That I Have An Undisciplined Mind Would Not Be Incorrect Overall, But It's A Little Off The Mark Because I Have Great Discipline When I Write - But Only For About Ten Minutes.

I Hate Alcoholics And Aa (alcoholics Anonymous). If You Can't Drink Responsibly, Don't Drink At All. Don't Go To Meetings, Whine About Your Character Flaws And Blame The Fact That You Are A Sociopath On Booze.

My Daughter Made Me A Jerry Springer-watching Kit, With Crackers, Cheez Whiz, Polyester Stretch Pants And A T-shirt With Two Fat Women Fighting Over A Skinny Guy.

Patriarchy Is Impotent And Qualitatively Unable To Solve Even The Most Simple Problems In The Cosmos Such As Picking Up Their Own Socks Or Placing A Carton Of Milk Back In The Refrigerator After Drinking From It.

I Have More Money Than God, But Not As Much As Oprah.