It's Hard For Me Not

First I Took A Crap On The Hooker's Chest, Then I Told Her I'd Pay Her A Thousand Dollars To Eat It. She Was Addicted To Crack, So Of Course She Did It. It Was So Gross, Though, It Made Her Throw Up, So I Said I'd Pay Her Another Thousand To Lick All That Up, Too. She Started To, But For Some Reason She Started Crying As She Was Doing It, Saying, 'i Went To College! I Have A Degree!' Oh Man, It Was Hilarious. I Don't Know If It Was Technically Sex Because I Just Beat Off On Her Face, But Definitely One Of My Most Intense Orgasms.

Best Movie Ever?! Come On, My Appearance On Arrested Development Had More Dynamics, Realism And Feel To It Than The Whole Trilogy Combined.

People Always Say The God Father Is The #1 Movie Of All Time. But Ask Yourself, Did You See Zach Braff In It....no You Didn't. So Then By Default It Goes To Garden State..and If Youwatch Two Episodes Of Scrubs Back To Back That Counts As The #2.

I Actually Did Ponder Doing The Brad Pitt/angelina Jolie Thing And Get A Kid From Ethiopia. But You Know, I Already Have An Ashtray.

Look On The Bright Side; That's One Bullet That's Not Going To Hit Me.