It Would Be Rather Naive

I Know Electric Knives Are Excellent For Carving Turkeys That Have Had Their Bones Removed And Been Forced Into A Mold To Shape Them. Please Note That Those Turkeys Are Called Hams.

Writing For Me Always Requires Trickery. Tricking Myself Into Sitting Down, Letting Words Tumble Out Until You Find The Good Ones. It's Sort Of A Trance. And When A Piece Is Done, I Have Little Memory Of How I Wrote It, And Zero Confidence I'd Ever Be Able To Do It Again.

Unfortunately For Humanity, I've Gotten Into The Habit Of Providing My Own Closing Music For Shows By Singing A Song And Playing The Ukulele.

I Think There Are Very Few Invisible Musical Instrument Players Out There Who Can Claim The Chops And Sheer Perseverance Of Björn Türoque, The World's Perennial Second-place Air Guitar Champion. Whoever This Dan Crane Might Be, He's Captured The Mad, Seductive Spirit Of The Arbitrary Skill Contest Perfectly, And Rocks It Hard Into The Hot Finnish Night. There Is No Number Of Umlauts That Do This Jekyll And Hyde Of Air-rocking Justice.

My Career As A Magazine Writer Was Largely Prefaced On The Idea Of Curiosity, To Go On Adventures And Weasel My Way Into The Lives Of People That I Admire.