It's Autumn In New York.

Monday Is President's Day And Former President Bill Clinton Is Very Excited. He Is Taking George Bush, Sr. To 'hooters'. ... George H.w. Bush And Bill Clinton Have Been Spending More And More Time Together. Doesn't That Seem Like An Unusual Couple To You, Honestly? Earlier Today They Went To Go See That Gay Cowboy Movie.

I Was Talking To A Friend About Santorum. He Said, 'for All My Years In The State Department, I Know One Thing. Terrorists, What They Fear Most Is A Guy In A Sweater Vest.'

President Obama Says He Wants To Put An End To The Policy, 'don't Ask, Don't Tell.' Yeah, In The Military. This Is Not To Be Confused With George Bush's Policy, 'don't Know, Don't Care.' That's A Whole Different Deal.

Last Night We Had Bill Clinton, The Former President. Security Was As Tight As Governor Christie's Yoga Pants.

John Kerry Had Surgery On His Right Shoulder This Week To Repair Some Damage. It Was Pretty Bad, He Had No Feeling. It Was Almost Like He Was A Republican.