It's Called Paris, Not Hilton,

I Don't Enjoy Going Out Anymore It's Such A Pain. It's Everyone Saying, 'let's Do A Deal! Can I Have A Picture?' I'm Just, Like, 'these People Are Such Losers. I Can't Believe I Used To Love Doing This.

You Need To Look Like A Lady At The Oscars. Otherwise, Joan Rivers Will Tear You Apart. Then Again, You Aren't Really Anyone Till Joan Rivers Tears You Apart.

The Only Rule Is Don't Be Boring.

When I Have A Daughter I Have A Lot Of Good Advice For Her.

I'm The Nicest, Most Loyal Person In The World When It Comes To My Friends.