It's Cold Out. It's Even

The L.a. Times Reports That Al Qaeda Terrorists Have Been Traced To Iran, And President Bush Is Talking Tough. In Fact He Said He Will Attack The Minute He Has Evidence His Approval Rating Is Under 45 Percent.

Today, One Year After Their Divorce, Pamela And Tommy Lee Announced They're Getting Back Together. You Know What That Means? There's Still Hope For Ike And Tina Turner.

Political Analysts Say That President Bush's Re-election Strategy Is To Try And Convince Americans That He's A War President. I Don't Get That, Do You Think That'll Work? I Mean, Don't You Think That If He Tries To Convince The American People That We Need A War President, Isn't He Afraid That They're Going To Vote For The Guy That Was Actually In A War?

President-elect Barack Obama Is Starting To Get An Idea Of Just How Hard His New Job Is Going To Be. Today, He Said He Wanted To Bring A Sense Of Accountability To Washington. I Think They Realized Actual Accountability, Never Going To Happen.

Now There Are More Overweight People In America Than Average-weight People. So Overweight People Are Now Average. Which Means You've Met Your New Year's Resolution.