It's Hard For Me To

"boy, The Food At This Place Is Really Terrible." The Other One Says, "yeah, I Know; And Such Small Portions." Well, That's Essentially How I Feel About Life - Full Of Loneliness, And Misery, And Suffering, And Unhappiness, And It's All Over Much Too Quickly.

See, I Never Gain An Ounce, Because, You Know, My Anxiety Acts Like Aerobics.

The Baby Is Fine. The Only Problem Is That He Looks Like Edward G. Robinson.

Dying Is Like Making Love, Except You Don't Get Naseous Afterwards.

My Wife Is Immature. Whenever I Take A Bath, She Sinks My Boats.