It's So Much Easier To

I'll Tell You How You Know When You're On Something Good: When Everybody Starts To Tear Up When They're Leaving, When They're Wrapping For The Season. You Know, When You Say, "all Right, We're Done With Mcgillicuddy. That's A Wrap For Mcgillicuddy!" And Everybody Applauds, But Everybody's Sad, Because Mcgillicuddy's Going To Be Gone! You Know, It's Like Family Going Off To College Or War. You Have This Intimate Relationship With These People, And Then - Bam! - They're Gone.

I Could Be An Alternative Comic. I Could Be That Really Dark - I Was - I Was A Very Dark Comic To Begin With. I Could Be That Guy, And The Only Reason I Didn't Is That I Wanted To Make Money. I Wanted To Be Popular. I Wanted To Be Liked More Than I Wanted To Be Admired.

I'll Tell You How You Know When You're On Something Good: When Everybody Starts To Tear Up When They're Leaving, When They're Wrapping For The Season. You Know, When You Say, "all Right, We're Done With Mcgillicuddy. That's A Wrap For Mcgillicuddy!" And Everybody Applauds, But Everybody's Sad, Because Mcgillicuddy's Going To Be Gone! You Know, It's Like Family Going Off To College Or War. You Have This Intimate Relationship With These People, And Then - Bam! - They're Gone.

I Live In California, The Worst Place In The World For Fat People. There Are Three Of Us. They Have Us On Eight-hour Shifts, So It Works Out.

If I Were The Last Person On Earth, Some Moron Would Turn Left In Front Of Me.