It's Weird... People Say They're

I Wrote My Friend A Letter Using A Highlighting Pen. But He Could Not Read It, He Thought I Was Trying To Show Him Certain Parts Of A Piece Of Paper.

I Wrote A Script, And I Gave It To A Guy Who Reads Scripts, And He Read It, And He Liked It, But He Said He Thinks I Ought To Re-write It. I Said, "fuck That - I'll Just Make A Copy!"

If You Can't Sleep, Count Sheep. Don't Count Endangered Animals. You Will Run Out.

I Sometimes Close My Eyes During A Show Because I Have Drawn A Picture Of An Audience Enjoying The Show More On The Back Of My Eyelids.

I Like To Wear A "do Not Disturb" Sign Around My Neck So That Little Kids Can't Tell Me Knock-knock Jokes. "hey, How Ya Doin'? Knock-knock." "read The Sign, Punk!"