I've Always Felt There Are

I Just Clipped 2 Articles From A Current Magazine. One Is A Diet Guaranteed To Drop 5 Pounds Off My Body In A Weekend. The Other Is A Recipe For A 6 Minute Pecan Pie.

If I Raised My Hand To Wipe The Hair Out Of My Children's Eyes, They'd Flinch And Call Their Attorney.

If God Had Meant Us To Walk Around Naked, He Would Never Have Invented The Wicker Chair.

My Idea Of Housework Is To Sweep The Room With A Glance.

In General My Children Refuse To Eat Anything That Hasn't Danced In Television.