I've Been Outed As A

My Wife's Gotten Really Lazy, Or As She Calls It, 'pregnant.'

I Was The Youngest Of Six Kids, So Yeah, Feeding Myself Was Important, But It's Not Like I Was Obsessed With Food Growing Up.

I Like To Stay In A Hotel Where It's A Dome Of Silence. I Can Sit In My Room And Do Nothing.

I Do Kind Of Aspire To Do Comedy That Appeals To A Wide Range Of Audiences And Doesn't Divide People. I Never Want To Do Material That Makes People Laugh At The Expense Of Making Other People Feel Bad - Not To Say I'm Not Guilty Of That At Times. ... I Try And Make Humor Out Of The Really Important Issues Of The Day, Like Hot Pockets And Elevators And Not Wanting To Get Out Of Bed.

We All Take Mother's Day Seriously And Then It's Like A Month Later, A Bunch Of Kids Get Together And Say, "i Guess We Should Do This For The Old Man, Too." Father Day's Is Weird. It's Like Celebrating Darth Vader's Birthday. It's Odd I Think. Even The Gifts We Give Dads. Like Neckties, Which Are Just Like A Silk Noose. Or Books. Would You Ever Want Someone From Another Generation To Give You A Book?