I've Got This Horrible Feeling

A Good Fart Joke Makes Me Bawl With Laughter, So Will Somebody Farting. And The Word 'poo.' You Can't Beat A Good Poo Joke.

I Have A Fear Of Poverty In Old Age. I Have This Vision Of Myself Living In A Skip And Eating Cat Food. It's Because I'm Freelance, And I've Never Had A Proper Job. I Don't Have A Pension, And My Savings Are Dwindling. I Always Thought Someone Would Just Come Along And Look After Me.

I Am Best Viewed From A Distance.

I Don't Do Marriage. I Think It's Incredibly Naff. And I Don't Like Vulgar Displays Of Ostentation.

I Wouldn't Say I Was Grumpy. It's More Pathological - I Have Seismic Tantrums. I Get Red In The Face And Cry At Least Three Times A Week, And I Have To Lie Down And Have A Nap Afterwards.