John Kerry Went Duck Hunting

I'm Just Trying To Make A Smudge On The Collective Unconscious.

Tip To Out-of-town Visitors. If You Buy Something Here In New York And You Want To Have It Shipped Home, Be Suspicious If The Clerk Tells You They Don't Need Your Name And Address.

Here's Some News From Afghanistan. We're Sending More Troops To Seal Up The Borders. Can We Try That Here? Three Months, 12,000 Pounds Of Bombs And Billions And Billions Of Dollars And The Highest Ranking Enemy We've Captured So Far Is An American.

I Wish The Iphone People Would Design One That's Black And Has Two Pieces, And It Plugs Into The Wall And You Can Pick One Piece Up And Talk Into It. I Tell You, The Whole Time I Had One Of Those Old-fashioned Plug-in Phones, Not Once Did I Misplace It.

I Don't Like Stand-up Comedy That Requires A Lot Of Props. I Really Respect People Who Can Walk Out Onstage Alone And With No Other Tool But Their Own Minds And Can Make You Laugh And Maybe Even Think A Little.