Kentucky Fried Chicken.. Kfc... Keep

Kerry Is Saying That Bush Never Showed Up For His National Guard Duty ... And Now Bush Is On The Attack. He's Accusing John Kerry Of Ducking Time In The National Guard By Hiding Out In The Jungles Of Vietnam.

Jesse Jackson's In Trouble. They're Going After This Tax Thing. Jesse Said He Will Amend His Taxes To Show The Money That He Paid To His Mistress. See, He Has Just One Mistress. Jesse Uses The Standard Mistress Deduction. As Opposed To Clinton, Who Had To Itemize.

Neural Scientists At M.i.t. Say They Can Plant False Memories In Your Brain. No, That Is Not New. Politicians Have Been Doing That For Years. They’re Called Campaign Promises.

Actually, Joe Biden Looked Pretty Good. In Fact, Joe's Popularity Has Gone From 1% To 2% Last Week To 3% Today. At This Rate, He Could Win The Nomination By The Year 2032.

President Bush Fell Off His Bicycle This Weekend And You Know What Was Really Sad? It's A Stationary Bike.