Let Me Put It This

If Compliments Were Food, I'd Have Starved To Death 28 Years Ago.

I Will Never Understand Children. I Never Pretended To. I Meet Mothers All The Time Who Make Resolutions To Themselves. 'i'm Going To ... Go Out Of My Way To Show Them I Am Interested In Them And What They Do. I Am Going To Understand My Children.' These Women End Up Making Rag Rugs, Using Blunt Scissors.

When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Make Cookies.

No Self-respecting Mother Would Run Out Of Intimidations On The Eve Of A Major Holiday.

With Girls, Everything Looks Great On The Surface. But Beware Of Drawers That Won't Open. They Contain A Three-month Supply Of Dirty Underwear, Unwashed Hose, And Rubber Bands With Blobs Of Hair In Them.