Like Most Alaska Immigrants, My

I'm Happy To Report You Still Get Nothing You Don't Need At Motel 6, And, Therefore, You Don't Have To Pay For It. I Don't Need Valet Parking. If I Can Drive The Old Crate 300 Miles To The Hotel All By Myself, I Can Certainly Handle The Last Nine Feet To The Parking Space.

Kids In Alaska Don't Know They're Growing Up On The Last Frontier. It's Just What They See On The License Plates, And It's Something Tourists Like To Say A Lot Because They've Never Been Around So Many Mountains And Moose Before.

Somebody Says, 'do A Tom Bodett, A Folksy Kind Of Thing,' And It Sounds Like Something Out Of 'hee Haw,' Very Insulting. They Turn Wry Humor Into Disparaging Sarcasm, And You Get What Amounts To Insulting Advertising.

In School, You're Taught A Lesson And Then Given A Test. In Life, You're Given A Test That Teaches You A Lesson.

I Come From Very Common Stock, And I've Always Been Uncomfortable With Pretension And All The Forms It Can Take, Including Disingenuous Broadcasting.