Men Don’t Realize That If

Nothing Is More American Than Stuffing Your Face With Loaded Potato Skins While Drinking Loaded Mudslides.

This Women/ Killer Was A Testament To My Theory That The Crazier You Are, The More Calories You Burn. That's Why Psychos Are Always So Skinny.

I Had To Feign Interest In All This Nonsense Until I Could Ask When I Could Come Over And Sit On His Face. I Didn't Say That Out Loud, Of Course. I Never Say The Things I Really Want To. If I Did, I'd Have No Friends.

Paris Hilton Is Going On A Goodwill Mission To Rwanda. It’s The First Time An Entire Third World Country Will Have To Get Immunizations For A Visitor.

When You See The Veins Popping Out Of My Neck, That's An Exclamation Point.