Morrissey Was My Mrs. Garrett,

'the Sopranos' Gets Praised As Novelistic, But It Follows The Most Banal Of Life Patterns, Showing The Sheer Tedium Of Being A Mobster. It Has Dead Spots, Boring Plotlines, Weak Episodes. Characters Develop Slowly, Or Don't. Like Viewers, A Gangster Might Get Bored, Fade Out Of The Action, Then Come Back To Find None Of His Debts Forgotten.

On 'idol,' Steven Tyler Will Be Sitting At A Table With Two Other Judges, And Part Of His Job Will Be Keeping His Yap Zipped While They Talk. This Makes No Sense At All, Since Tyler Has Zero Yap-zipping Skills.

When We Die, We Will Turn Into Songs, And We Will Hear Each Other And Remember Each Other.

There Are All Kinds Of Mix Tapes. There Is Always A Reason To Make One.

The First Season Of 'community' Stumbled A Bit Because The Plotlines Too Often Veered Into Realism, But That Is Not A Problem Anymore. Not When Prize Episodes Concern A Campuswide Blanket Fort, Or A Secret Garden With A Magic Trampoline.