Most Of The Time People

The Surgeon General Warned Today That Saliva Causes Stomach Cancer. But Apparently Only When Swallowed In Small Amounts Over A Long Period Of Time.

People Love To Admit They Have Bad Handwriting Or That They Can't Do Math. And They Will Readily Admit To Being Awkward: 'i'm Such A Klutz!' But They Will Never Admit To Having A Poor Sense Of Humor Or Being A Bad Driver.

I Think Of Shock As Kind Of An Uptown Form Of Surprise. Comedy Is Filled With Surprise, So When I Cross A Line... I Like To Find Out Where The Line Might Be And Then Cross It Deliberately, And Then Make The Audience Happy About Crossing The Line With Me.

Did You Ever Look At Your Watch, And You Look Away... And You Don't Know What Time It Is?

These Days Many Politicians Are Demanding Change. Just Like Homeless People.