Most Of The Time You're

Al Gore Announced Tuesday That He Plans To Launch A 24-hour Cable News Network For Young Adults. Gore Claims He's Been Wanting To Do This Since He Invented Cable Tv In The 1990s.

I Was A Little Excited But Mostly Blorft. "blorft" Is An Adjective I Just Made Up That Means 'completely Overwhelmed But Proceeding As If Everything Is Fine And Reacting To The Stress With The Torpor Of A Possum.' I Have Been Blorft Every Day For The Past Seven Years.

Anyone Who Knows Me Will Tell You That I Am All About Money. I Mean, Just Look How Well My Line Of Zodiac-inspired Toe Rings And Homeopathic Children's Medications Are Selling On Home Shopping Network.

In Real Life, People In The Most Dire Situations Must Cope Through Humor.

I Do Like To Start On Time; I Like To Set The Bar High For People.