My Back Hurts. My Legs

It’s Fun To Watch Someone Like John Goodman, And Yet It Takes Work. People Say ‘he’s Not Acting, He’s Being Himself.’ Well It’s Hard To Be Yourself, It’s The Hardest Job There Is.

There Are A Lot Of Actors That Are More Talented Than Me At Second City Who Quit It Before They Even Got To A Paying Status. Weird Luck. I Had No Other Option.

Different Vodkas Have Different Effects. Some Make You Feel A Little... Poly-lingual. Some Make You Feel Like You Want To Talk Back To Someone Who's Giving You A Hard Time. Some Make You Feel Like Lifting Kettle Bells.

Awards Are Meaningless To Me, And I Have Nothing But Disdain For Anyone Who Actively Campaigns To Get One.

I'd Like [santa Claus] To Give Wes Anderson, The Director, Enough Money In His Next Budget For An Aerial Shot - Just A Little Copter Shot. He Really Wanted This One Helicopter Shot, And Disney Wouldn't Give Him The Money. Just Wouldn't Give Him The Money. Every Day, He Was Talking To The Studio About This Helicopter Shot.