My Belt Holds My Pants

A Friend Said To Me, "i Think The Weather Is Trippy." I Said, "no, Man, It's Not The Weather That's Trippy, Perhaps It's The Way We Perceive It." And Then I Realized I Just Should Have Said, "yeah."

I Was At A Restaurant, And I Ordered A Chicken Sandwich, But I Don't Think The Waitress Understood Me. She Asked Me, "how Would You Like Your Eggs?" I Thought I Would Answer Her Anyway And Said, "incubated! And Then Raised, Plucked, Beheaded, Cut Up, Put Onto A Grill, And Then Put Onto A Bun. Damn! I Don't Have That Much Time! Scrambled!"

If You Drink O'douls, You Don't Drink; But If You Drink 20 O'douls In A Half Hour, Then You're A Non-alcoholic.

Well, I Was Lost But Now I Live Here! I Have Severely Improved My Predicament!

My Fake Plants Died Because I Did Not Pretend To Water Them.