My Credit Card Company Says

I Think Hair Gel Was Invented To Make It Easier To Identify Assholes From A Distance.

Stand-up Is Like A Row Boat: It's Fun And Romantic When You're Choosing To Do It. But If You Have No Other Choice Than To Be In A Row Boat It's Not As Enjoyable; That's Survival.

To Make Even Fewer Friends Try Talking About Politics As Much As You Talk About Yourself.

I Think There Are So Many Little Hurdles And Impediments With Stand-up That You'd Need To Have This Insane Desire To Do It If You Didn't Have Something That Clicked Right Away.

I Need To Develop Some Patience - Immediately.