My Dog Learned How To

I'm Sitting On Top Of The World, And I've Got Hemorrhoids.

I Told My Doctor I Wonna Stop Aging, He Gave Me A Gun!

I Tell Ya, Gambling Never Agreed With Me. Last Week I Went To The Track And They Shot My Horse With The Opening Gun.

I'm At An Age Where I Think More About Food Than I Do About Sex. Last Week I Put A Mirror Over My Dining Room Table.

I Worked In A Pet Store And People Would Ask How Big I Would Get.