My Epiglottis Is Full Of

The Fact Is That Britain Is The Most Warlike Nation On Earth. In The History Of Armed Combat, We Are The Only Democracy To Have Declared War On Another Democracy - England Versus Finland In The Second World War, In Case You're Interested - And We're Always At The Front Of The Queue When Johnny Foreigner Gets A Bit Uppity. Who Stood Up To The Kaiser? Who Stood Up To Adolf? And Let's Not Forget The Argies. What Other Country Would Have Sent Its Fleet Halfway Round The World And Lost 250 Men To Protect A Flock Of Sheep And Some Oil That Might Or Might Not Be There? We're Still At It.

It Couldn't Pull A Greased Stick Out Of A Pig's Bottom

Driving Most Supercars Is Like Trying To Manhandle A Cow Up A Back Staircase, But This Is Like Smearing Honey Onto Keira Knightley.

There Are Shantytowns In South Africa That Are Built Better Than Renaults!

We Live In The Worst Country In The World. At Least We Do For Lazy, Inefficient, Office-bound Police, Whose Response To An Extraordinary Rise In Violent Crime Is To Order More Speed Cameras.